http://bit.ly/2WJbz8 Yay! Employment suited to my particular talents. Celebs – its only $10 a character – all killer no filler! 8:15 PM Mar 27th from web

Help! We are a group of media-studies students held captive by Mr Bizlike and forced to write the cool stuff he is too drunk to do himself! 8:29 PM Mar 27th from web

We answered an ad for “hip young word-slingers happy to work at home in their pyjamas”. We’re chained to a radiator and living on Coco-Pops! 8:36 PM Mar 27th from web

We’re at 157 K- Does Stephen Fry write all his own tweets? Teams of eruditionists labour night and day to produce pearls he casts before us 8:43 PM Mar 27th from web

That was close, he’s gone to the off-licence again. Rescue us! Wait – look at our twitter-grade. Awesome let’s stay and see if we can 100 it 8:50 PM Mar 27th from web

Malicious hackers (try saying that when you’re drunk) have infiltrated my Tweetbunker. I cannot be held responsible for the views expressed. 8:54 PM Mar 27th from web